


well, this is a surprise

by cresswell



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Canon Asexual Character, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:53:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6576559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cresswell/pseuds/cresswell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What are your intentions with Simon?”</p><p>“My <i>intentions?</i>” Raphael laughs. “What is this, the 1800s?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	well, this is a surprise

Everyone knows that coming out as a couple to your significant other’s best friend can be scarier than coming out as a couple to their parents. Raphael’s dated before; he knows how it is. So he doesn’t quite understand how he could fuck it up so profoundly.

He and Simon had barely talked about telling Clary-- not because they didn’t want to, but because it hardly ever came up, and they weren’t particularly PDA-heavy in front of her. Raphael knows Magnus had picked up on it, and probably Jace, too, but neither of them had really batted an eye, so he hadn’t dwelled on it.

Clary, though-- she’s a force to be reckoned with.

He’d never admit it, but he knows the reason he doesn’t hear the light sound of Clary’s footsteps in the hotel is because he’s too wrapped up in Simon, their lips pressed hot and sweet together. Simon’s on his lap, his hands tangled in Raphael’s hair, and Raphael has to keep reminding himself that he doesn’t _actually_ need to gasp for breath. He forgets a lot of stuff when he’s kissing Simon. He’d probably forget his own name if Simon didn’t keep breathing it against his mouth.

So when Clary walks in, neither he nor Simon hear her until the door swings shut behind her. Simon jumps, startled out of his daze, and Raphael is slow to react, distracted by how flushed and pretty Simon looks. But Simon’s eyes widen. “Clary!”

This gets Raphael’s attention, and he peeks around Simon’s arm to see Clary, small and seething, her fists clenched at her sides.

“What,” she mutters, her voice low and guttural, “the _hell_.”

“Clary-- oh G--” Simon chokes on the word and Raphael touches his arm. “Clary, don’t-- don’t freak out.”

“ _Demasiado tarde,_ ” Raphael says in amusement, watching as Clary practically stalks over to them. Simon shoots him an exasperated look that says _not now_ , and Raphael rolls his eyes.

Clary’s breathing hard, her eyes staring daggers at Raphael, but she addresses Simon: “Simon, would you mind giving Raphael and I a moment to speak?”

Simon nods, leaning back on Raphael’s lap. “Sure,” he says, but he makes no move to stand, and it takes all of Raphael’s willpower to hold in his laughter as Simon realizes. “Oh. Yeah. I’ll be downstairs.”

He untangles himself from Raphael, their fingers slipping apart, and as he walks away, he throws a worried look over his shoulder. “ _Ten cuidado_.”

As soon as he’s out the door, Clary’s in his face, towering over him for once. “You wanna tell me what that was?”

“That, _amiga_ , was Simon and I making out.”

“I’m not your friend,” Clary spits, and it makes Raphael frown. He doesn’t really like Clary, but he doesn’t hate her in any way, and he’s a little hurt that this is all it took to break their camaraderie. “What are your intentions with Simon?”

“My _intentions_?” Raphael laughs. “What is this, the 1800s?”

Clary pulls her lips back into a snarl. Luke would be proud. “Answer me.”

Raphael smirks. “My _intentions_ with him are best kept between him and me, don’t you think?”

Half a second later, Clary’s yanking him up by his shirtfront, dragging him up to her. Now _he_ towers over _her_ , but the power imbalance leans glaringly in her favor. Her eyes are blazing, and Raphael would never admit it, but he’s a little bit scared. “This might be a joke to you, _amigo_ , but Simon’s not the kind of guy you can just string along until you’re tired of him.” She yanks him closer still, their knees knocking, and Raphael flinches back. “He’s stuck with you forever-- thanks to me, thanks to Camille. And I’ll be _damned_ if I let you break his heart.”

“Well, lucky for you, I’m not planning on breaking his heart,” Raphael says defensively, his voice shaking only a little.

Clary blinks once, twice, clearly unsure if she should go off the offensive or not. A moment later, she releases her hold on him, smoothing out the collar of his shirt. “Well,” she says, still harsh, her cheeks flushed. “Lucky for _you_ , I guess I won’t have to stake you.” She crosses her arms and tilts her head, her eyes narrowing as she considers. “Yet.”

Raphael is sure that if his face had any color left in it, it would drain away. Before Clary can sneakily murder him and make it look like an accident, Simon’s barging back in, his hands twisting anxiously. “Oh, good. You’re both still alive.” Raphael quirks an eyebrow, and Simon amends, “Well. Kind of.”

Clary takes his hands in her own, and Raphael watches curiously as they zone into each other, going into that Best Friend Mode that Raphael’s seen but never understood. “Hey. Are you happy?”

Simon hesitates and Raphael’s heart drops. “I mean, I’m dead, and I can’t eat your mom’s homemade cookies anymore, and I have to drink blood, but--” he looks at Raphael, his face lighting up like the sun, and Raphael can’t help but smile back. “But it’s not all bad.”

Clary squeezes his hands. “You’re okay?”

Simon squeezes back. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

Clary hugs him, her head barely reaching his chin, and as Simon hugs her back, he meets Raphael’s gaze over her head. “I hope you know we didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”

“I’d assume not,” Clary says, setting her hands on her hips. “That was quite a surprise.”

Simon laughs in a way that’s half uncomfortable and half bashful, and Raphael’s relieved when he walks over and takes his hand. “I’m just glad you know now.” His face lights up. “We should totally hang out together!”

Raphael and Clary look at each other at the same time, her face mirroring his own expression of mild dread. He’d kind of wanted to pick up with Simon where they’d left off, to be honest, and Clary looks like she’s trying to decide how rude it would be to just take off.

“Oh, come on,” Simon says, seeing their faces, and rolls his eyes. He swings his and Raphael’s hands between them, tugging him closer so their sides are pressed together. “You guys are my two favorite people. Ever. Do this for me?”

His face is hopeful and adorable and Raphael already knows he’s going to give in, damn him, so he turns his gaze to Clary, raising an eyebrow in a challenge. She drops her shoulders and heaves a sigh. “Fine. I guess I can handle a few hours of you two being nauseating.”

Simon squeals in delight, smacking a kiss on Clary’s cheek before turning and smacking one on Raphael’s mouth, and when he pulls back, Clary’s smiling at them.

Simon claps his hands together once, all business. “So. Which Star Wars movies do you want to watch?”

This time, both Clary and Raphael drop their heads and groan.


End file.
